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New Poll Shows Majority Support Asteroid Collision

Shocking new poll suggests most wish meteor would hit sooner than 2032.

It’s no question the world seems an absurd place. Climate change, wars, receding democracy, and ineffective institutions have left many feeling hopeless. This sense of communal despair is strikingly demonstrated in a new poll which finds that nearly 60% of earthlings wish the meteor 2024 YR4, which has a remote chance of hitting our planet in 2032, would arrive years earlier. When asked to comment on the new poll result, United States President Donald Trump said “We’re keeping a very close eye on it. Lots of people want it to hit, but lots of other people want it to miss, so we’ll see. Incoming German Chancellor, Friedrich Merz, sounded a more sanguine note, stating “The Christian Democrats are the only party which can bring a 2024 YR4-size shock to the struggling Central European economy.

There appears little to be excited about these days, but if the past is anything to go by, humans will find creative ways to beat 2024 YR4 to the punch. With any luck, according to the majority, we may make this decade our latest, greatest and last.

 

By Trent Trepanier

 

Photo: Sky News

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